See I know my kids. Like all kids, they'll promise the world when it comes to taking care of the new puppy. But that lasts for about a day. Then it becomes your puppy. So while at Petland in Georgetown, TX looking for some food for my reef tank, I walked across the store and beheld a wall of windows. And behind each window was a cage. And within each cage... PUPPIES! Oh beautiful puppies! Puppies I'd never heard of! Puppies Puppies Puppies! Oh honey, there's a Cavalier King Charles! OMG! There's that Cockapoo we talked about! So many puppies and my husband making zero effort to drag me away. Then I saw him. In the last cage on the bottom. Alone. Lucky. A Golden Retriever puppy with soulful black eyes and a big smile on his face. Could we please see him?

Those words will haunt me. For what followed was hell.

Let me explain how Petland, Georgetown works. This is the best explanation you're going to get so pay attention. Everything Petland, Georgetown will tell you about your potential new family companion is going to be a lie or the truth according to Petland. Don't bother asking "Did this puppy come from a Puppy Mill?" The answer will be along the lines of "Absolutely Not! We don't do that here!". In fact, they do. Oh yes they do! They will lie to your face about such things as the health of the puppy, the lineage of the puppy, the reputation of the breeder, the provenance of the puppy itself and even tape record you without your knowledge, permission or consent. Take a tape recorder with you, you'll need it.

From the attached Health Records - which you won't get when you purchase your puppy, you'll see that this picture of health, this bundle of vibrant, shining salubrity, is actually going to get very sick, very fast. You see, this puppy has been on drugs practically since birth. What you'll likely get is something that Looks like This. It's a record of vaccinations, wormers, etc. And of course, your new puppy comes with a 3 year warranty with some provisos of course. You MUST take your new puppy to the vet of Petand's choice and only that vet. Of course, warranty law in most states would invalidate such a provision. And in Texas, consumers ARE protected by Deceptive Trade Practices Provision of the Texas Business Code Section 17.a. If you're interested in a potential class action, be sure to sign up on the home page.

Of course, to make the package prettier, Petland sends you home with a plush toy, a bag of dog food for sensitive stomachs (we'll get to that), a collar and leash of your choosing for .01 (they will steer you towards the nylon garbage, go for the expensive leather!), a crate, and a visit for potty training help at home. They're not stupid, they're well aware of the problems you'll face once you bring your sweet-faced baby home, and a package of shampoo, conditioner, spray to keep precious off of things, and a bunch of syringes of "herbs" for immunity boosting. We'll get to that too.

On to the Next Episode